A downloadable pile of sh- uh... game for Windows
Hap's Hazards is an appalling pile of arsewash in which you, an unnamed female protagonist, must navigate a series of labyrinthine rooms underground in a vague attempt to find the exit of the cave.
See all of your decisions bare fruit as you logically deduce exactly how stupid you feel for spending any time whatsoever playing this absolute nonsense.
Look for the four buttons of "I hue shifted them in 8 seconds" which will allow you to escape when you find the screen.
Avoid five death screens that will rerandomise the entire cave and send you back to the start because nuanced gameplay is for children.
Let me know if you find John Cena hiding in the caves. He's in there somewhere. (Actually, don't let me know).
Yes, the game is winnable. No, you shouldn't try to. The win screen will only make you feel worse.
You know you don't want to.
Click download now to get access to the following files: